The Call...

It's been a long while since I felt compelled to post.  Early on in this blog I determined I'd only post when I felt inspired, today I'm inspired.

This guitar has special significance, I took the photo several years back at a service we were gathered at, a young man led worship using this very guitar.

Several years back my husband had been given a gift of being sponsored to attend an all men's event by a very special friend of ours, a young man name Mike.  I don't recall what the event was called, but something like "Jesus Connection".  It was an intensive get away where men bonded, where men came closer to God, where men celebrated the direction their lives were going in...where men received letters of love written from all the close friends and family members in their lives and were told why they loved them. 

Those letters would be read by each man in the privacy of themselves.  My husband received countless letters that blew him away, he had no idea that people had done this for him, he had no idea how much people truly cared about him.  Two of those letters would come from his parents.  He would read for the first time in his life the depth of the love they had for him...and those words would change his life forever.  God used Mike in my husband's life that made a tremendous difference and impact.

Today, we pray for Mike and his family.  Mike and his family are on the very journey that my Beloved and I found ourselves on nearly 12 years ago when I got that first call.  The call that said he was not coming home, and there was someone else in his life.  This week Mike made a similar call to his wife, I received a call from her heartbroken, in shock, and paralyzed emotionally about what to do next.  I remembered, too well,  "exactly" what she was feeling. I began to share the very same things that got me through that first day...and the days after until he returned home that helped me...that helped our children.  It was a Miracle that I had in my life and marriage that would unfold after my own call, and I live in that miracle every day (husband returned and our marriage restored) and don't take it for granted one bit.  

So now I do what I did back then, I pray...but this time for this friend named Mike and his lovely and loyal wife...and we wait for his return.  I put my trust in God and I have Hope for him and his family...so their marriage can be restored as well, I Hope for their Miracle, and I "TRUST" God for their Miracle!

We don't have any security in this life, with the exception of knowing there is only ONE person that will never fail us or forsake us, and that person is Jesus Christ.  Outside of Him, our hearts will always be at risk of being broken.  But the Good News is that when our hearts are broken in this life, there is ONE that can and "will" pick up the pieces for us and put our hearts back together again.  

I love this family as if they were my own children, and my heart aches that they are walking down this road, but I'm "Encouraged" that they are not alone, and they are in GOOD hands, the hands of our Heavenly Father.  

Staying in the Day has gotten easier over the years, some days can still be a challenge...but I'm reminded by God's Word that I am not to worry about tomorrow, for it will take care of itself.  And by my Staying in the Day....I am learning to TRUST HIM for my portion!  

Love & Prayers to my precious friends.....True Love covers a multitude of sin....

~CC Catherine

The artwork in the framed print says, "Focus on the day, not the years!"

I guess for birthdays, that fits perfectly.

But in marriage, I think it's fitting to focus on the years!
We're celebrating a milestone for us, 30 years...

It's exactly one decade since our marriage appeared to be ending.
It seemed like I'd never ever trust again...

In those days, I had to focus on the day...just to stay in it!

But now, I do focus on the years, and it's a positive focus.  

The years of us working hard together to overcome the obstacles that came our way.  

The years that I wondered if I'd ever "cross over" to the other side and find my way back to love him like I'd loved him before the betrayal.

And yes, I did learn to trust him again - and honestly I questioned whether I ever could for many many years.   

I did learn to "cross over" to the other side and have found I love him more than I did yesterday.

We are driving off soon to St. Augustine, FL where we'll spend celebrating our milestone Anniversary...

We'll reconnect, and we'll celebrate the "Miracle" of God saving our marriage.

I always heard that a true marriage takes "3".

In our case, that rang true~

Thank you Lord for rescuing me, "us"...

and for giving us a marriage that beat all the odds...

It truly was all  because of "You"!

I continue to work hard after all these years just to "Stay in the Day"...

but now for different reasons~

Happy Anniversary to US!

~CC Catherine

Celebrating 30 years together!

A Quote by Madeleine L'Engle

"Family....  We love, trust, get hurt, sometimes outraged, and we love and trust anyhow because that's the best way to let our love grow."

On July 4th of this calendar year my Beloved and I will be celebrating our 30th Anniversary.  What began as a dream come true for me...at one point 20 years later became a nightmare.  Then through much of what Madeleine's quote mentions, our love grew.  

By the Grace of God our marriage not only survived the terrible hurts and outrage of betrayal, but now thrives!  It thrives because we both fought to change ourselves and we both fought to find answers...and when we couldn't find or understand the answers we received, we learned how to forgive.  I didn't say we learned how to forget...but we did learn how to forgive.  The forgetting happens down the road when we least expect it.  That's the Gift God gives us,I believe, as a reward for hanging in there...for doing everything as a couple to make right our wrongs to one another.

Even though  the picture in this post is of a couple that was married twice as long as we've been; it makes me think of what our hands will look like in 30 more years.  The age worn and defining lines in their clasped hands speak silently of dedication, forgiveness, commitment, and undying love.  True love really does stand the test of time...

I had the honor of taking this photo on a day where I walked into a home of a couple where I delivered a traveling tea party.  I met Elouise at my Writers club, she being 83 at the time and one of the founding members of the club in the early 70's.  I've posted about this couple before a  few years back, Barney & Elouise.  Barney passed away 11 months after this photo was taken.  Framed, it sat at the funeral home and comforted everyone who walked by it.  It comforted Elouise the most, the Beloved wife left behind.

Not only is this year our 30th Wedding Anniversary - but last week was our 10th Anniversary of when my Beloved Husband returned home.  Where betrayal was revealed, and the real work of our marriage began.  The anniversary passed last week and I didn't even realize it.  That, in and of itself, is a miracle; as I thought I'd never ever forget the call from him that came in that day that said "we" were over.  He in New York at Ground Zero, and myself standing in our kitchen in NC.  What an amazing transformation God has done since that day.  

With my need back then being so fierce to find some type of blue print to know whether I'd ever feel safe again, trust again, or love him fully again...I had no assurance; no guarantee.  Quite frankly, I lived in fear for a very long time.  

I thought I was someone that had a deep faith in God.  The near demise of our marriage showed me how shallow my "trust" in God was.  I wrestled back and forth with faith versus trust...  To this day I know it was my deep faith in God that assured me that we'd make it.  But the "trust" part just seemed totally separate.  It confused me. I wrestled more...and I learned a blue print was never to be.  Walking one day at a time through our storm built my trust more, and increased my faith.  

Our day to day journey of recovery would bring us to this place we now reside in.  No, it's not a physical place.  It's more of a spiritual and emotional place where we have repaved a loving and trusting relationship that we built from the ashes of the first 20 years together.   Many people were used along the way to speak into our lives, into our hearts.  Pastors, counselors, caring friends, and authors of awesome books that taught us so much about fighting for our love and explained so much of what had happened to us along the way. I can now sigh a breath of relief...laugh, and trust again.  I, no..."We", can now say we made it to the other side of the mountain.  Not by our own strength, but from the Strength that we gained from our Heavenly Father.  

In a few months we'll take an early Anniversary vacation to a lovely cobble street town where we'll stroll down the streets hand in hand, just like the photograph of Barney and Elouise.  Our clasped hands with their defining lines will speak silently of dedication, forgiveness, commitment, and undying love.  True love really does stand the test of time..

True love never rusts...

~CC Catherine, Continuing my best still... to Stay in The Day

Sometimes Surprises are GOOD and sometimes they're GREAT!

Sometimes Surprises Just Happen...and they are GOOD, and sometimes they're even GREAT!
The past two days have been great because one of the couples that were instrumental in our marital restoration in the early days dropped by for an overnight stay for two nights.

It's hard to believe that in January we will celebrate 10 years since we began this journey.
Check out "Live Side by Side" on Facebook. Dan & Nori Chesney, our dear friends and former Pastors that were visiting, now offer international marriage seminars and this is one way you can follow their ministry and maybe even get some good nuggets for yourself or a friend. Their home base is in England, and their hearts are to continue the fight for the restoration and healing for marriages all across the world.

10 years ago Dan & Nori reserved a Bed & Breakfast for us to spend an entire weekend away when my husband first returned home. They knew how critical it was for us to be alone and BE just with each other. Even if it meant us sleeping the entire two days we were away, which we pretty much did just from the mental and emotional exhaustion..they knew we needed this time together. That time was so important to us and certainly helped us to regain our footing to return home to begin the rebuilding process.

I was reminded of how far we've come as we sat with them last evening revisiting those first days...and also reminded of how GOD totally lit the path for us to find our way again. We were just obedient to follow His light...and we both learned so much about each other in the process; and a lot about ourselves at the same time. We learned about God's Grace, His Mercy, and His Forgiveness...
It's because of HIM (Our Heavenly Father) that our marriage continues to not only survive, but THRIVE. Yet He used people like Dan & Nori to help direct us in those early days.

We both Thank You Dan & Nori!
We Love You!

Staying In The Day...
~Catherine & her Beloved ~J

Seeing me in Her!

Last week I learned that a precious young girl that is dear to my heart is walking through marital discord. Even though the journey she's on is totally different than what my own was nearly 9 years ago, the heartbreak is just as deep and real! She reminds me of what I looked like back then!
I learned never to diminish another’s depth of pain by comparing the wounds that have been inflicted on us, it’s just not fair. "Pain is Pain", regardless of what all the different situations might be!

I remember a friend telling me about a book called Unintended Journey years ago after my situation erupted. I never got to purchase or read the book, but the title never left me. No mate, no matter how young or old, ever intends to walk down the aisle so that years later they find themselves in a broken state and on this journey. We just wake up one day and it's as if someone has packed our bags without our knowledge, put them in our hands, and with a shove forward...off we are sent into this unknown place of disclosure ~ learning the authentic mate we married, instead of staying in the dream we thought we were in of a normal, or even what some would deem as a "perfect marriage"!

Today I'm reminded that my nine year anniversary is nearly here, and with good Godly counseling for both my husband and myself...the journey has come to a good place of healing, restoration, and renewal! We didn't get here overnight, but the time it took and the things we did in getting here...were all worthwhile! We still have one another, and we're authentically still doing the things we need to do to keep healthy emotionally and relationally. Our children still have the two parents they love "together" working hard to stay in recovery and healing and not turning back.

To be fair to all those mates that did "everything" they could, yet seen their relationships or marriages still fail... my heart goes out to you! Hold your head high if you did all you could to save the relationship! "I did the best I could with what I had", many of you might say. Trust me, I believe you! I have friends from a support group that I was a part of years ago. Some of their journeys with their marriages are still suffering, someone in the partnership is still stuck... thinking they'll always be like this, they can't change they say. Change is a choice, not something that comes natural to us. If you're in this category, find your hope in the fact that God knows how hard you tried, and move forward in your life.

The great thing about God is He gives us a second chance…and many times a third and fourth in life. I like who I’ve become today! I may not like the reality of how I came into my “fullness”, so to speak! ~ Sometimes in life there will be questions we’ll never have answered…the whys can be endless. It’s when I stopped asking “Why” in my own broken marriage, and started asking “What” about me that I felt like I was on the right track…and little by little God led me to the path that worked for me to learn more about “Who” I am and change what I could, ME!

For my young friend, and all those that are in the “midst” of working hard to save their marriages or relationships ~ my Hat’s off to you! You’ll learn more about yourself than you have your entire life!

Staying in the Day, Sweeping my Own Side of the Street!
~CC Catherine

Being Silent amidst the Busyness ~ Is a Lost Art...

Photography by ~CC

In the year of 1993 I bought myself a journal.

The inscription I wrote in the front goes like this:

" A Gift from me to me ~ to learn how to be silent amidst the times of my busyness...to learn to be obedient when I hear Him calling to my heart"

Hmm...I love finding things I've written in past years like this~ It makes me realize that 17 years later I'm still working on doing my best to be silent amidst the busyness and being obedient when I hear Him calling to my heart! Life sometimes is like that, isn't it? Growth doesn't always happen overnight, but it's a "life long process". I certainly haven't arrived, but it's nice to know that I'm still working at improving my game!

Sighing a fresh breath of relief today, because I've Stayed In The Day!

How about you?

The Victorian style home that I've shown in the picture above was taken in a lovely little college town in Davidson, NC. There was something magnificent about the architecture of it. I love photographing old homes. They provoke me to think about the people that inhabited them over the years and the thousands of conversations that had to have taken place over it's lifetime ~ I'm guessing many times their prayers could have been the same as mine back in 1993.

Be a Blessing to someone today!

~CC

Thirsting...

(Photo courtesy of Julie @ http://juliology.blogspot.com)
Psalm 42: 1
As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for you, O God.
New American Standard Bible

I still recall the day when my Dad was in surgery, I walked into the chapel and when I read the open Bible on the pulpit, the above verse is what I read.

Immediately the Lord brought this calm over me, I had been very weary and thirsting for His power and strength to get through the day.

In that moment, I felt like I had drank water...and he nourished my soul and gave our family the victory we were praying for.

A Scripture to me is like a Vitamin......only it nourishes my spiritual body, as well as my physical body. A Scripture a day definitely quenches my thirst!

Hugs ~ While Staying in the Day!
~CC