Seeing me in Her!

Last week I learned that a precious young girl that is dear to my heart is walking through marital discord. Even though the journey she's on is totally different than what my own was nearly 9 years ago, the heartbreak is just as deep and real! She reminds me of what I looked like back then!
I learned never to diminish another’s depth of pain by comparing the wounds that have been inflicted on us, it’s just not fair. "Pain is Pain", regardless of what all the different situations might be!

I remember a friend telling me about a book called Unintended Journey years ago after my situation erupted. I never got to purchase or read the book, but the title never left me. No mate, no matter how young or old, ever intends to walk down the aisle so that years later they find themselves in a broken state and on this journey. We just wake up one day and it's as if someone has packed our bags without our knowledge, put them in our hands, and with a shove forward...off we are sent into this unknown place of disclosure ~ learning the authentic mate we married, instead of staying in the dream we thought we were in of a normal, or even what some would deem as a "perfect marriage"!

Today I'm reminded that my nine year anniversary is nearly here, and with good Godly counseling for both my husband and myself...the journey has come to a good place of healing, restoration, and renewal! We didn't get here overnight, but the time it took and the things we did in getting here...were all worthwhile! We still have one another, and we're authentically still doing the things we need to do to keep healthy emotionally and relationally. Our children still have the two parents they love "together" working hard to stay in recovery and healing and not turning back.

To be fair to all those mates that did "everything" they could, yet seen their relationships or marriages still fail... my heart goes out to you! Hold your head high if you did all you could to save the relationship! "I did the best I could with what I had", many of you might say. Trust me, I believe you! I have friends from a support group that I was a part of years ago. Some of their journeys with their marriages are still suffering, someone in the partnership is still stuck... thinking they'll always be like this, they can't change they say. Change is a choice, not something that comes natural to us. If you're in this category, find your hope in the fact that God knows how hard you tried, and move forward in your life.

The great thing about God is He gives us a second chance…and many times a third and fourth in life. I like who I’ve become today! I may not like the reality of how I came into my “fullness”, so to speak! ~ Sometimes in life there will be questions we’ll never have answered…the whys can be endless. It’s when I stopped asking “Why” in my own broken marriage, and started asking “What” about me that I felt like I was on the right track…and little by little God led me to the path that worked for me to learn more about “Who” I am and change what I could, ME!

For my young friend, and all those that are in the “midst” of working hard to save their marriages or relationships ~ my Hat’s off to you! You’ll learn more about yourself than you have your entire life!

Staying in the Day, Sweeping my Own Side of the Street!
~CC Catherine

God's Still Working On Me, One Piece At A Time...

Yes, God is still working on me, one piece at a time; just like this lovely art of stained glass that my husband was making for his Aunt.
And just like this art, there are some pieces that are so tiny to work on, that it takes longer in the process to get it worked out just right.

Like this gift, in the end of my process where I get it worked out...I'll be just as beautiful and at peace with myself, just as this lovely stained glass dove.

This Gift of Love to his Aunt has been completed now, but God is still working on me~

The answer for us all is in God's Word. Have you allowed the Word of God to examine the attitudes and opinions in your life? It's true that the very things that can hold us captive in our lives are the attitudes and opinions that we've been raised in that "can" follow us into our marriages and adult lives.

Have a heart to heart with God today and ask Him to reveal to you supernaturally what it is that He wants to do in your life today, and each day!

Staying In The Day...along with you, one day at a time,
~CC

Sometimes It's Easy To Get Lost In The Midst Of Everything That's Going On....

Point In Case: Allie, my Granddaughter Toy Yorkie, nestled in my new Christmas Gift from Kathleen, a luscious animal print throw.

It's hard to know where the throw ends and Allie begins...

A New Year can sometimes make one feel like that, somehow lost in the midst of things! I have found that starting off the New Year with determination to "avoid" the pitfalls of the norm help tremendously! The norm.....hmmm, what might that be? Oh, you might say it's the traditional set of New Years resolutions we set out to make and fail to achieve. Nah, been there and done that. Last year I tried something new and loved it! My husband and I both went away for a Valentine weekend at a B&B and worked hard to create our Mission Statements for the year. A Mission Statement is much different than a resolution because it requires you put things down on paper as to how you will actually achieve what it is that you are wanting to accomplish.

For example, I wanted to get in shape last year by exercising. I wrote this fabulous paragraph on how I would achieve my goal of getting in shape physically by walking and lifting weights. I have to laugh now when I look back and read it, since I never actually lifted weights the entire year. But, I also have to give myself credit, as I did achieve my goal of getting in shape instead by joining Curves and being committed to getting in shape by exercising 3-4x's weekly. Before the year closed out, I had achieved the goal I'd set, regardless of whether I lifted a weight or not. My ultimate goal (getting in shape) had been met by simply reading the Mission Statement over and over throughout the year as it hung on my wall. It drove me to accomplish my Mission.

I need to update my Mission Statement for this year, because I have new and exciting things I want to add to it. If you want some inspiration on what to read so you can create a Mission Statement for yourself this year, pick up Tommy Newberry's book called "Success IS Not an Accident". It's a very riveting book that creates excitement and motivation to grow as an individual. Whether you're single, married, or newly single again; personal development and growth is critical in living a happy, healthy, and fulfilled life. Tommy's book is a great way to start the New Year! A matter of fact, I'm going to read his book all over again, just to get the full impact of getting inspired for 2009!

Working to "Stay In The Day positively" with you this year! ~CC

Detach, Detach, Detach.... Will I Ever Get This Right? I'm Working On It...

When All Else Fails, Enjoy Reconnecting With God...

Work On Relaxing While Enjoying Your Favorite Scone & Cup of Tea

Chocolate Chip Banana Scone

Served with a drizzle of Vanilla Honey Curd and Devonshire Cream

Chocolate Chip Banana Scones: Ingredients:1 1/4 cup flour1/2 cup quick-cooking oats1 1/4 teaspoon baking powder1/2 teaspoon cinnamon1/4 teaspoon baking soda1/4 teaspoon salt6 tablespoons cold butter1/2 cup mashed bananas1/3 cup buttermilk1 cup chocolate chips.Directions: In a mixing bowl, combine flour, oats, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda and salt. Cut in butter. Mix banana and buttermilk thoroughly. Add to the dry ingredients. Add chocolate chips. Mix until just moistened. Knead 12 times. Pat out into a 6" circle. Sprinkle with sugar. With a sharp knife, cut into 6 - 8 wedges. Place 1" apart on lightly greased baking sheet. Bake at 425F for 12 minutes or until golden.
This recipe is from CDKitchen and serves/makes 8

Today was one of those days that started out great! I enjoyed starting work, took an early lunch hour to enjoy a conversation with my friend Kathleen in PA...and then I received a call from one of my adult sons. He is experiencing life at it's worst; a recent broken engagement, dissatisfied with where he's at in the life decisions he's made in the past few years, not happy with where his job is taking him; need I say more?

While on the call, I did my best to listen to his frustrations and say all the right "Motherly" things to encourage him. I hung up the phone and felt like I had now been covered up with a blanket of hopelessness. I felt like his mood had now shifted to me! Drats, I hate it when that happens; can you relate? The remainder of the afternoon I knew exactly what my old nature was doing, getting stuck in something that I didn't need to own. Going back to my support group days, I soon recognized I was in the old pattern of attaching myself to the emotional turmoil that my son was experiencing. I reminded myself that I can love him from a distance without taking on his pain. The best way I can love both myself and him is to pray for him and his needs and then to...Detach...Let Go.... So, I practiced the following: I verbally repeat this to myself over and over...Detach, Detach, Detach... And, I say it in a way that assures me that it's ok to not take on this burden that isn't mine to take. My son will eventually get through this time. In order for him to mature; he needs to experience lessons learned, just like I have in my own life.

It may sound funny to you, but when you realize that you're beginning to obsess or get overly stressed over things you have no control over, detaching is the only thing you can do to be kind to yourself. So, today was one of those days that a scone and cup of tea were created for! There's nothing like "Detaching" with a favorite snack and hot drink - better yet, grab your favorite magazine or book and remind yourself how to do something for just you! That's my self prescribed advice for me today, you might as well enjoy it too!

Bon Appetite! Staying In The Day with you....~CC

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Century Version) 5 Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. 6 Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success.

©Letting Go Of The Things I Cannot Control...

What Does Letting Go Look Like?

The Flame Of Letting Go...

©Photography by ~CC

I have learned the most challenging thing in life for me has been to release those I love into the "Trust of God's Hands" for the outcome in their lives. It's only through the support I received while attending a Christian Counseling Center that I realized how backward thinking that is. If I believe any worry I choose to entertain in any way helps my loved ones or myself; I have failed both of us greatly.

Instead, I have learned to work very hard at bending my old nature toward laying them rightfully where they belong, in the hands of our Beloved Savior. It's only when I Let Go of them and Let God take the drivers seat of my burden that I have been successful.

Each opportunity that's presented to me, I get to practice this over and over. One of these days, I'm gonna get it right. One of these days, my old nature will be totally bent to where it needs to be.....in allowing the Flame of my own will to "Let Go and Let God" in relation to all those I love.

My prayer today is that you are also working to let go of the things you were never meant to control. Worrying is not about loving, it's about not trusting our Heavenly Father. Just like He has rescued us, He will also rescue our loved ones! The Flame of Letting Go will get easier the more we exercise it...

Staying In The Day with you and continuing to choose to work to "Let Go"... ~CC

© Do we devote to "doing" versus how much time we give to "being"

Miracles of Reconciliation

©Photography by ~CC

Miracles of reconciliation are not complete when they occur, the work has only just begun. With God in control of our lives, he makes the impossible a reality. I believe our failures are allowed for us each to realize how imperfect we are on our own. It is only through "Him" that we truly succeed in the things or people we touch in this life. We can choose to "do" anything, but what if "He" calls us just to "be"? And if so, what would that look like?

It's been months since I've journaled on this blog, I have missed it! I have thought of you often, have written in my mind time after time, but only today I stopped "doing" and am just "being" here with you. Maybe it's all the pain I've witnessed these past weeks from the people I love the most; my family and our friends.

A friends loss of both parents this year, burying her mother as recent as two weeks ago. This same friend is experiencing another chance at love and finds herself newly engaged, a blessing at such a time of deep loss and pain in her life. Another testimony to life after divorce.

Another friend not even forty has been diagnosed with Melanoma Cancer on his ear lobe. He and his wife are leaning on God, family and friends for support.

Another friend is one of my largest fans of this blog, is getting another chance with reconciliation in her marriage. She was faithful to pray and believe that he would come home after many months of separation and anguish, and he did. My peer at work has a saying, "God is off the chain". I think I know what she means when I witness the victory of reconciliation.

Another set of friends are at the financial crossroads of ruin and do not know where their next roof over their head will be. I remember our family being there ourselves years ago, we walk with these friends and encourage them by sharing our life story; God will make a way, some how, some way...and they continue the fight.

And then there is the young family that was torn apart last year at this time from marital affairs, that now finds themselves in the rebuilding phase of their marriage. During that painful time the husband felt his life was heading in another direction. The wife, pregnant with their third child, refused to allow her love to die for this husband. Months later, and with much prayer, this husband returned home. The picture on this journal entry are the hands of this family; wife, husband, sons, and baby daughter. A "Miracle" of reconciliation....and they are working together to "stay together" one day at a time.

I am encouraged by the new chapters we all face in our lives after we walk through such pain. A young woman's life restored in every way after losing it all. Today she finds herself years later happily married, healthy, has a devoted husband, son, and a daughter on the way soon.

This morning as I was reading a great book called "The Good Life", by Chuck Colson, I was literally frozen when I read the following: (paraphrased) Thinking about his autistic grandsons schedule made him examine his own priorities. It made him think about the time he devoted to "doing" things- a lot of it simply indulging in distraction - versus how much time he gave to "being". Don't we all fall into that catagory at times? I identified with that statement, and I don't like it.

My prayer today for all of us is that we stop "doing"...and that we just simply "be" who it is today that God wants us to be. To sit quietly in a chair and read or pray. To hear our friend in need, to hug and comfort our neighbor that sits quietly alone; longing to have someone visit him or her. Let us be, just be........who God has intended us to be without the "doing".

I am reminded of the victory and healing that God brought to my own family nearly seven years ago. By all standards, our marriage and family were doomed in the worlds eyes, but not in God's. His desire was for us to take one day at a time, do the best we could to Stay In the Day, and live out the Victory He had given us, despite our own failures.

My goal remains to live out Psalm 147:11. "The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love". Nehemiah 8:10, "The JOY of the Lord is your STRENGTH".

Stay In The Day........ Stop "doing" and just "be"! ~CC

© Rester Dans Le Jour ~ French Translation for "Staying In The Day"

The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Although known most widely in its abbreviated form above, the entire prayer reads as follows:

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
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© "Staying In The Day" seems to be exactly what Reinhold Niebuhr meant when he composed the prayer on Serenity. I researched what other words are synomous with the word "Stay" and I found the following: remain, linger, abide, wait, sojourn, tarry. The definition of "Stay" is: To continue to be in a place or condition. To stop moving, halt.

Meditation! The things we "choose" to meditate on day and night determines whether we will "Stay In The Day" in peace, the way The Serenity Prayer describes; or whether we will be hijacked in our days where we begin to go down roads that lead us to anger or regrets of the past. We cannot control the actions or words of others; past, present, or future. But we can control the thoughts, actions, and words we say each day. Once spoken, words can never be taken back. Words spoken are powerful, whether kind or unkind. For some reason, the majority of us can replay an unkind word spoken to us 100 x's more in our mind than one kind word.

The Definition of Meditation: Meditation is a practice of concentrated focus upon a sound, object, visualization, the breath, movement, or attention itself in order to increase awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance personal and spiritual growth.

The challenge I encourage us all in today is to be careful as to what we Meditate on. Remember, no matter what each day unfolds, it's still precious! The thoughts you allow yourself to meditate on will determine what type of day you have, and what it will include. There are things you can change about each situation you are in... Ask the Lord for guidance, trust Him, and He will direct your path! Proverbs 3 - 5: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 40:31 Amplified Version: But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

Staying In The Day with You! Choosing carefully what I Meditate upon! ~CC