Holding His Hand Tightly As He Leads...

Tulips have a way of waiting for the perfect moment to reveal their true beauty, our lives sometimes are the very same way... God's timing is always perfect with everything he's created!

Who Was I?

Today I'm reminded of how much "My Story" of the past has bled into different chapters of "My Story" in the present. Those too familiar words have rung in my ear as I've journeyed, "Let Go and Let God".

I would find myself giving the wheel to God, and before I knew it, it was as if my life was heading for a sharp curve. The fear foundation that I was raised in would begin to bubble up within like a rising thermometer...and before I realized it, I'd ripped the wheel out of God's hands and taken it back into my own.

The Pieces all Link Together, One Way Or Another...
Everything from our past molds us into the individuals we become today, both good and bad. Larry Crabb's book, "Shattered Dreams" says it best. He writes that shattered dreams are never random, they are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. He moves on to write that the Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God., to help us begin dreaming the highest dream. He continues on in his book to share that it's our shattered dreams that have the power to change our lives for good, Forever." Reading his book would prove to be part of my process of breaking some of the barriers that needed broken down so God could do what He needed to do within my heart for the rebuilding of my marriage to begin.

Along Life's Way...I'm Getting it!

I have learned throughout the walk of our Marital Restoration that God uses "everything" to help us "GET IT". In the past seven years of walking in Marital Restoration and healing He has taught me more and more about myself, about the deepest fears that I would never acknowledge existed. He's taught me about "My Trust Issues" with Him. He's revealed to me all the hundreds of questions in my heart that I never allowed myself to voice aloud...and he showed me the depth of the anger I'd never allowed to surface my entire life. Did these things have anything to do with my marriage if their origin didn't have anything to do with it? Yes, inadvertently...I'm positive they did; regardless of whether the questions, fears, trust issues, or anger had anything to do with me or my husband's relationship directly or not. The "Dance" of marriage we observe and learn along the way becomes "Our Dance" as a couple. It's up to us then to make sure the steps we're dancing together need corrected by "The Professional", God, or not... Good Christian Marital counseling by trained individuals is critical for healing in a marriage. They were definitely part of His Blueprint for our healing and restoration.

Don't Sugar Coat It!

With all that I've learned these past years, I'd like to say that I have forever given the wheel to Father God, never to rip it out of his hands again. I'll be honest and transparent instead here and not sugar coat it..."it's a process" that I'm getting better at each time I'm allowed to walk through a period of crisis in my life. I owe God much, I owe Him everything. Throughout my life I've tried to save myself at every sharp curve and did a horrible job of it. I did the best that I could with the knowledge I had at the time. Within the past seven years God has used my life experiences in my marriage to get at the deeper core of all the roots that were robbing me of the full joy and peace that I could have if I just gave Him the wheel of my life, my heart. I learned that it's in my heart that I needed to give in, it's in my heart that I needed to "Let Go and Let Him be God"~

Where I'm At Today

Today I am using the "tools" that He has guided me to so I can continue to learn more about who I am and why I have done the things I have over the periods of my life to survive. What helped me survive my abuse as a child no longer work to survive my life crises as an adult. It's when I began to learn why I did the things I did that I could begin to change the things I could about myself, and that was only something I could do with His guidance and support every step of the way.

The Gift

Ultimately...my Marriage Crisis was a gift to me. I couldn't have made that statement on January 16, 2002...or December 25, 2005, etc... If the gift were packaged in the most beautiful gift wrap and tied up with the fanciest bow, I'm positive I would have never opened it if you'd told me what me, my husband, and my family would need to walk through to come to the place we are today. Trust is something I've learned along the way...and just like a real marriage, God is teaching me new ways to love him, new ways to trust him, and new ways to "Let Go and Let Him" control every area of my life, every crevice of my heart...

My Only Guarantee in Life

God is my only guarantee in life. Isaiah 42:16 "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them". When my Beloved first came home, this was the first scripture we put on a card and taped to our wall...we memorized it and would say it over and over and over. I realized that what I thought I wanted in the early stages of my journey was a "Blueprint" of weeks, months, and years ahead of me ~ The haunting question early on was, "What would we look like as a couple, family, would we make it?" And if we did, what would that look like? Instead "He", The Lord, wanted to lead me by holding my hand one moment and day at a time. Not only has that taught me how to trust Him more, but it's also how I've learned to trust my Beloved again...

No matter what our journey, He is here with us to "Stay In The Day" forever, regardless if we get the Blueprint we wanted or not! Just hold His hand and let him lead...you!

xoxo ~CC

Hopeful Friday...I am my Beloved's

Thanks to Cielo for sharing the Scripture tag above for Hopeful Friday!

Be sure to visit all the others that will be sharing encouragement and hope this Friday through linking to her site by clicking on the Scripture Tag above!

The above scripture has a powerful deep meaning to my life in many ways. One way is because when my husband returned home seven years ago and we began our journey of marital restoration he started calling me his Beloved., and I called him that in turn... and still do to this day! God can restore marriages, heal broken hearts, and give promise to our continued journey together one day at a time...

This pic is one I took of a monument statue of a cross on the premises of Elvis Presley at Graceland Estate in Memphis in 2008. At the time I took the photo, I had no idea there was a robin in the pic till I zoomed in on the cross thinking of cropping it. I immediately felt inwardly that I needed to do something creative with the pic., and I created what you see above.

Isn't it just like the Lord......to give us an interesting way to look at things in unique ways when He catches our eye with nature just when we least suspect it?

I am in awe of all Creation because the Creator has captured my heart!

~Staying In The Day...

~CC

I'm Hangin On Hopeful Friday with ~Cielo...

Today is Hopeful Friday, hosted by Cielo at "House in the Roses". Please be sure you drop by Cielo's to see every ones Hopeful Friday share after you've visited a while!

"The one who walks through a countryside sees much more than the one who runs."

~Anonymous

I love that verse! It really reminds me to take heart to stop, be present, and savor the moment I'm in...regardless if it's a huge moment or not... Listening to the wind outside my window right now is a "big" thing...if I just listen...

Today my Hopeful Friday post is about a dream I share with my husband...

The teacup is one from my collection. I purchased it on one of my travels to New Zealand about 10 years ago. It holds many precious memories, and it inspires me to believe that with "Hope", all things are possible! This outdoor rustic picnic area is a unique place of rest in a very old garden...it's part of our dream...
The dream of Hope extends further in the garden...and an outdoor fireplace is preparing to warm the unknown guests that should bask in her presence...

And the Hopes and Dreams of a large old historic home(like this one) where we can devote our lives to enriching others in Marriage Restoration begins to build, and build, and build....

Little by little the foundation is coming along in our hearts...in our minds...and it's all a matter of time before we see what God does to provide what we envision ourselves doing some day.

Someday, our Hope is to have a safe place for couples to come to when their marriage is in crisis. It won't be a home that will provide counseling, and it won't be a home that will provide quick answers. It will be a haven of peace where a couple can come and learn how to breathe again...and where we can just "Love on them" at a time in their lives that they need it most. It will be a home where my husband & I will share our own journey of where and what God has rescued us from... It will be a place of rest for them, for however short of time they have. It will be a place where they'll be encouraged, to learn that couples can grow beyond tragedy, beyond infidelity, and beyond addictions...and that they can come out on the other side a more fulfilled person, despite how they got there. Our Hope is to send them back home with a "Blueprint" of things to do in preparation for the long road to recovery. Our Hope is for them to see that with hard work and commitment, there marriages can survive, and even better...can flourish!

My Hopeful Friday share is a reminder for us all, that in time, "All things are Possible"

Don't forget to drop on over to Cielo's to join in visiting all others Hopeful Fridays!

~CC,
Staying In The Day

The Path to Heaven, Does it Look Like This?

After viewing my Hopeful Friday Post, please click on the logo above to visit Cielo at The House In The Roses to visit others that are writing Hopeful Thoughts.

This is a captivating view that makes one stop and meditate on where it leads... I couldn't help feel that it was the path to heaven the day I snapped this photo. With no home in sight, it only left the destination to my imagination... I've returned to capture Spring, Summer, and Fall...I'm waiting for the winter ice to create a glittering angelic appearance so I can do my best to capture it in it's essence. Once done, I want to get it professionally matted and call it Four Seasons of Heaven...

Four Seasons of Heaven... hmm

I remember having a dream many years back. In the dream I thought I was living out Psalm 23, the fields were so lush and green... I felt serene and safe in the dream, the same way I feel everytime I stand at the gate and see this view.

My grandmother used to describe Heaven as a Family Reunion...and it's how she focused on meeting death. She lived to be 92 and when she passed on to Heaven, we did our best to "Celebrate her life" instead of mourn her passing. I still have tears stream down my cheeks some late evenings when I can't fall asleep in bed because I miss her so much. But, I'm comforted to know she's experiencing the Four Seasons of Heaven in the presence of the Lord, and all those at her family reunion!

As for the path awaiting my next visit to capture the ice, we have an unspoken date. When the ice comes, she will whisper my name and I'll go running to inhale one last beautiful season so I can complete the Four Seasons of Heaven! I will enjoy seeing this hung in my home, and each time I walk by, I'll envision my Grandma celebrating in her new home, Heaven...and my Hope to someday have her hand outstretched to mine as I come home to join her!

I love you Grandma!

This "Hopeful Friday" post is dedicated to you!

Staying In The Day and still lovin you ... ~CC